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04-17-2008, 02:14 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
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  |  All in a word... The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, 'I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.' You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced. She continued, 'Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.' Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim. And the wife continued, 'Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctor's say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely.' All the men sighed with relief. Thunderstruck by the wife's account, the pastor slowly rose and hesitantly asked if anyone else had anything to say. A man rose and timidly walked to the podium. He announced, 'Hi, I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife, ONCE AGAIN, the word is STERNUM.'
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04-17-2008, 02:18 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Princeton, NJ
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 | hahahahah good one
__________________ Scott www.scottschrob.com (and check out my Q Home Screens & Q Apps) If somebody helps you, thank them. Click the  icon under their post. Check out the EverythingQ New User Guide or use Search. |
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Ouch!!... feel the imaginery pain already!!... I'd take having my Sternum crushed over having my scrotum even flicked with a finger!!! 
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04-17-2008, 08:05 PM
| #7 (permalink) | |
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| Quote:
That was a good "zinger"
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04-17-2008, 09:27 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
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 | i told someone once i was a resident at Napa State Hospital. They were like wow really! they let you have computers? I said, of course they do! how else would we get dates?! Figured the convent comment might work in the same way. Still not "touching" the flicker finger. I just wont wont wont !!! |
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04-18-2008, 08:01 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
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| I'll add one to this thread. Pastor's Business Card A new pastor was visiting at the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads: "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked." |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to oneeyed_q For This Useful Post: | sherri (04-18-2008) |
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